conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize