What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
