You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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