drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
