So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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