he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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