so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize