I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fill condoms, not promises.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
