last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
