I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
