??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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