so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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