are you still at the devil's house?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
