I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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