And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
