I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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