so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
