This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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