You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i've created a new STD.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
