i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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