listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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