Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
