At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
