like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
