Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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