i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dignity is for republicans.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I did not marry a roomba.
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