No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
