tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize