Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
