The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
