yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize