How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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