do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
