great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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