THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
