What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
