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I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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