Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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