Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
