There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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