Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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