You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
