I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
