He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
