So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize