My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
