I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
