I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I want to fling myself into the sun
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
