so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
