Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize