That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
