If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
