then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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