i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
