Your mouth is God's brothel.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
