I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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