just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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