How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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