wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
