please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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